Welcome friends to another (late) edition of Mouse and Minnow. This (no-longer-the-)weekend we’re celebrating sow bugs, those cute little armoured woodlice who crawl around in damp places but don’t roll into balls.
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The Sow Bug and the Starling
(short story)
The little Rough Woodlouse knew very well that she shouldn't be out in the open during the day. But the air by the river was damp, and the rotting leaves she had found were particularly delicious. Unfortunately what she didn't know was that a starling perched on an alder branch thought she looked particularly delicious.
"Ho ho!" said the starling, as he landed beside her. "What have we here? A little nibble, a little nosh, a little snickety-snack, just for me? Aren't you going to roll up in a ball, little roly-poly?"
"I'm a sow bug, not a pill bug," sighed the woodlouse, realizing it was too late to run. "Conglobation is outside my skill set."
"Conglo-what-now?"
"Rolling into a ball. It's not something all woodlice can do. But even if I could, you're large enough to swallow me whole."
"Yulp, yulp, gulp," said the starling, who was an odd sort.
"Indeed," said the woodlouse. "But would you do me one kindness, creature to creature?"
"Creature to creature, flyer to creeper," said the starling. "Ask what you will, and I'll do as I please."
"After all is said and done, would you tell my relatives that I’m gone so they may properly mourn?"
"Relatives?" said the starling. "I will find them, I will tell them, then I will eat them too."
"Oh no, you won't find any more woodlice today. They've already heard our conversation and are hidden away in the deepest, darkest crevices. I mean my other cousins who live nearby. In some ways we are similar, but in other ways we are very different. Perhaps," said the woodlouse, who knew a thing or two about starlings, "you would like to guess who they are?"
The starling did a quick little two-step of excitement.
"Guess, guess, guess! But you must give me clues."
"Alright," said the woodlouse. "Three clues, three guesses."
The starling turned his head and peered down at the woodlouse carefully. "Hmm... hard and curved and shiny and bumpy. Do your cousins have a shell, like you?"
"They do."
"The beetles! Your cousins are the scuttling scurrying beetles!"
"The beetles are my enemies, not my cousins. Guess again."
The starling ruffled his feathers and leaned down even closer.
"Onetwothreefourfivesixseven this side; fourteen feet to go around. Do your cousins have more legs or less?"
"My cousins have fewer legs than I."
"Then not the millipede or the centipede... But those look like pincers out your back end. The earwig then, the earwig is your cousin."
"Wrong again," said the woodlouse. "One more guess."
"One more clue too!" The starling peered at the woodlouse from the front. "The eyes. The eyes always tell. Tell me about your cousin's eyes."
"My cousin's eyes are not like mine," the woodlouse admitted. "My eyes are stuck in place on my head, while my cousins move theirs around on stalks."
"Ha ha!" said the starling with a cackle of delight. "No more clues needed, no more discussion. A hard shell and fewer feet and eyes that wiggle waggle? I know it now — the snail is your cousin!"
The starling was so sure of himself that he went to grab up the woodlouse but before the sharp yellow beak could close...
"The snails are going to be very surprised."
The starling straightened up. "That I’m so smart?"
"That you’re so wrong," said the woodlouse. "But I guess you'll have to eat me now and never know the truth."
"No, no, no," said the starling. "You have to tell me! I have to know!"
"We said three clues and three guesses only."
"But the kindness! Creature to creature! I must know!"
"Well," said the woodlouse carefully, "you didn't hear it from me, but why don't you try calling for my cousin at the river?"
The starling hopped frantically to the river's edge.
"Cousin of the woodlouse! The sow bug! The pill bug! Cousin of the tasty little-legged ones! I have something important to tell you!"
And as the starling watched, two small eyes emerged from the river followed by a hard shell. Ten pointy legs scuttled up onto a river rock, and two claws snapped at the air.
"Did you call me, starling?" said the crayfish, careful to keep out of reach of that sharp yellow beak.
"Are YOU the cousin of the woodlouse?" asked the starling.
"Of course," said the crayfish, "we are both crustaceans."
"Crustaceans! Revelation!" said the starling. "Well I am here to tell you that you must mourn, for your cousin is my snickety-snack."
"Are you sure about that?" said the crayfish, before disappearing back into the safety of the water with a quiet blorp.
The starling looked back at the dead leaves, but the woodlouse was gone.
"That was some very tasty trivia, little sow bug," the starling called toward the forest floor. "But not as tasty as you would have been."
From under the ground the woodlouse heard the starling's wings beat as he flew back to his place in the alder tree. She would stay hidden until it was dark, safe where the damp soil would keep her gills moist and her hard shell would protect her from many threats.
Rolling into a ball might not be in her skill set, but escaping was particularly delicious.
~ Marilyn Anne Campbell
About Sow Bugs
There are thousands of species of little land-dwelling isopods who are sometimes lumped together under the term “woodlice.” It would take an expert eye to tell them all apart, but there is one easy classification known by many kids around the world—some woodlice can roll into balls and some can’t. Nicknames like “roly-poly” and “pill bug” are used for the former while “sow bug” is reserved for the latter.
Of course there are many other nicknames used for this entire group of animals (I grew up calling them all potato bugs), but no matter what you call them, they are all crustaceans. They feed on decaying plant material, fungi, fruit, carrion, and whatever else they find (including their own poop). The females carry their fertilized eggs in a little pouch on their abdomen. And they have to stay where it’s damp or they will easily dry out and die.
The featured woodlouse in the story is a Common Rough Woodlouse (Porcellio scaber). Though they are native to Europe, these little critters have now made their way around the world. I took a lot of liberties in the story—not only do sow bugs not talk (shocking, I know), but it is likely that they only hear sound as vibrations and don’t see much more than light, shadow, and movement. They get a lot more information about the world from their sensitive antennae. And the starling is wrong; sow bugs don’t have pincers, but they do have two little appendages called uropods that help them absorb water from the environment. So are sow bugs out there chatting it up with birds? No, no they are not. But they are out there being adorable while they recycle nutrients and bravely carry the crustacean flag out of the water and onto dry land.
Just not too dry, thank you very much.
Watch this great video from Bristol Nature Channel to learn more about the relationship between woodlice and water:
Links
Biologist Nash Turley has some fantastic photos of sow bugs found in downtown Toronto in his fact-filled blog post Friday Night with the Common Rough Woodlouse.
See more photos of the common rough woodlouse (Porcellio scaber) submitted to iNaturalist by citizen scientists.
Watch this video from University of Toronto - Mississauga about another species of sow bug, Oniscus ascellus.
Read “The bizarre life of woodlice: Seven pairs of lungs and 100 crazy names” on Country Life UK.
Head to Wikipedia for an overview of Oniscidea, the suborder of species that encompasses all woodlice. This article has an entertaining list of the many nicknames woodlice have been given around the English-speaking world. (Cheesy-bobs! Grumper-pigs! Boat-builders!)
And if you want All The Facts, this page on Porcellio scaber from Animal Diversity Web is chock full of them.
Share Your Thoughts
So, which name do you use for woodlice?
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Thanks for reading,
Marilyn & Steve
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